Stuff Stuey Likes to Chew – Roxy's Forever Home

So Much to Do! So much to Chew!

While Roxy has had quite a week (letting 800 children pet her and tell her how cute she is) I’ve had a very busy time myself.

After months of waiting, I’ve finally gotten my paws on these slippers. After I chewed her first and second pairs, my mom and kept hiding this third pair from me. But because of all of her author visits this week (hello, kids from Enfield and Southington!), she let down her guard.

I think she’ll love what I’ve done with them. They’ve now got lots of ventilation — perfect for this warmer weather.

And just this morning, I helped her with some gardening. I’m apparently really good at rototilling. Just think of what I could do for the vegetable garden …

Stuey Will Chew No Slippers Before Their Time

I’ve got my eyes on these slippers.

They’re brand new, just arrived in a box, delivered by the guy who wears the brown clothes and pretends to like me.

But they’re not quite ready yet. I chewed a pair just like these not long after I arrived here earlier this year. Those were awesome. My mom wore them all the time, so they smelled fantastic. Mmm.

When they were replaced with a new pair I didn’t wait long enough and chewed them too early. Don’t get me wrong: They were a satisfying chew. But they didn’t really stink very much. They hadn’t quite aged properly.

So now we’re on to the third pair (available at llbean.com for $79 — or “79 freaking dollars” as my mom said. Could she be mad about this? Hmm.)

But I will wait. I’ll be like one of those dogs who can sit there with a treat on his snout and not eat it until his owner says “OK.” Yeah, I’ll be just like that.

I want those slippers so bad. But I know that if I can wait even just another month they’ll smell like my mom’s feet, which is one of the best smells out there.

I can do this. I have patience. Just you watch.

So Much to Chew, So Little Time

As of yesterday, I am one year old. My people keep saying “Well, he’s not a puppy anymore.” As if a date on the calendar is going to make me suddenly stop being me. I mean, I know Roxy is all calm and grown up, but that’s her. I really don’t anticipate giving up any of my wonderful puppy qualities anytime soon.

Just last week, I arranged for one of the boys to get an unexpected new pair of sneakers. All I had to do was chew off the heel of one of his shoes and voila! My mom delivered a new pair right to his school, just moments before his cross country meet. (You’re welcome, by the way.)

And I can’t imagine not jumping up on my people’s beds and licking them every morning, or not wagging my entire body when my people walk in the door, or jumping into the car anytime anyone wants to leave, or climbing on the counter to get some snacks. Those things all make me who I am, so why would I want to become all grown-up like Roxy?

But here’s the thing: I thought I was a leader when it came to Eating Interesting Things. I’ve polished off a pound of raw hamburger, a batch of chocolate cookie dough, stinky cheese, the newspaper, filet mignon, a jalapeno popper and countless slices of bacon.

Pretty good, right? Yet I’ve got nothing on this dog I heard about the other day. It seems there’s this Springer Spaniel from Massachusetts who has eaten lawn fertilizer, an entire bag of Halloween candy, and a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses. Made of glass.

This amazing dog, named Tahoe, is seven years old. I’m just one. So clearly, I’ve got a lot of living to do. And none of it’s going to get done with me acting like an adult.

If my mom is looking for a title to her next book, I think I’ve got it: “Stuey, the Forever Puppy.”

Stuey: The Best Fetcher Ever

The Invisible Fence, otherwise known as The Zone of Pain, is just above the place on the driveway where the Hartford Courant guy drops the paper every morning. I’ve heard that some dogs will fetch the paper for their humans, but every time I try I get zapped.

But this week, the newspaper guy must have been on vacation, since the paper was tossed way up on our front steps. Sadly, my human mom managed to distract me each morning with a bowl of food, and I hadn’t had a chance to try this fetching thing.

I guess she wanted to eat her Cheerios without me bugging her for a change of pace, so this morning she let me out before she got the paper, and I totally fetched it! I am the best fetcher ever!

When she noticed how great of a job I did, she didn’t tell me I was a good boy, though. Hmm. She must not have had her coffee yet. I’m going to go see what else I can fetch.